"Hi. Do you love to laugh? I'm Liz Gilbert, and I'm here to recommend a book."
Dear Ones –
Please go buy yourself a copy of TEXTS FROM JANE EYRE, written by Mallory Ortberg, who is such a genius that I can barely even handle it.
It's hilarious, but it's especially hilarious if you 1) love literary classics, and 2) you spend a lot of time texting.
(Which describes me perfectly. And maybe also describes you?)
So here's what Mallory does: She takes famous literary classics and re-imagines them as text conversations.
Which is how you suddenly get Edward Rochester desperately texting Jane Eyre, begging her to come back to him, and to run off to France with him. She refuses. He texts:
"I KNEW IT.
DID YOU LEAVE BECAUSE OF MY ATTIC WIFE
IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?"
Jane's reply:
"yes.
absolutely"
Rochester:
"BECAUSE MY HOUSE IN FRANCE DOESNT EVEN HAVE AN ATTIC
IF THATS WHAT YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUT"
You also have Scarlett O'Hara texting to Ashley Wilkes: "where r u? guess what kind of corset im wearing"
You also get Lord Byron texting a friend: "uuuuuuuggggghhh my life."
Or Cathy, texting Heathcliff: "I love you SO MUCH i'm going to write your name all over my books and then i'm going to have someone else's baby and then DIE"
Or Hamlet: "he's not my real dad why do you even like him"
Or Eponine to Marius, from Les Miserables: "marius where are you i am at the barricade with your note" (His reply: "sorry new phone who is this")
OK, it's probably a copyright violation that I'm quoting so much of this book but it's brilliant and funny and I want you to know how brilliant and funny it is. Just know that it's awesome, and it seems right up your alley…so many of you beautiful book geeks whom I love so much, OMG.
Go get it.
Love,
LG
via Elizabeth Gilbert’s Facebook Wall
Dear Ones –
For me, the negotiating begins every day at dawn.
I mean, the negotiating begins the MOMENT I wake up. The very first conscious thought I have is, "I'm not doing it today."
"It" = exercising.
The very first thought of my day = NOT DOING IT.
Absolutely not. Not today. Too tired. I exercised yesterday, so that's good, right? Anyhow, it's the holidays. I'm busy writing – writing is more important than exercise, right? My ankle is sore. It's the wrong time of the month. I didn't sleep well. I just washed my hair yesterday and I don't want to have to wash it again today after I get sweaty I have that phone meeting at 10am. I don't have time.
NOT DOING IT, I tell myself. NOT TODAY.
The problem is, I made a promise to myself that I would exercise every day. Not because of how I want to look, but because of how I want to feel. Because one day, a few months ago, I put my hand on my heart when it was beating hard after a session of dancing around my living room, and I realized: "Here it is. This is where my very life abides — right here inside this miraculous machine beating inside my chest. And this thing, this heart of mine, wants nothing more than to be strong."
So I made a promise: EVERY DAY. I will honor the gift of my life by making that heart beat hard and strong every day. For at least twenty minutes. Whether it's through dancing, running, swimming, biking, or doing jumping jacks in a hotel room after I get off the airplane. Let that life source beat strong.
But at 6am, I don't want to. I never want to. As I brush my teeth, the negotiation continues. I say to myself, "How about we just go for a brisk walk, just for ten minutes?"
By the time I'm lacing up my running shoes, the negotiation has advanced: "I will run today, but not far. I will run slowly. Maybe only fifteen minutes."
As we start running, the negotiation moves forward: "Twenty minutes. But slow. Really slow. And I will hate and resent every moment of it."
I plod forward, frowning. I put the earbuds in my ears. I start listening to the ridiculous gangster rap and hip-hop that seems to be the only thing that can get my legs moving. I know that today it won't work. Today I will quit.
It's cold out. I hate it.
I go anyhow, and as I begin moving, I blame everyone in my life somehow for making me do this miserable thing. I am sour and stiff.
Then it happens, somewhere around the ten-minute mark. The heart opens, the lungs open, the legs loosen. My eyes suddenly get sparked by these little tears of gratitude and awareness: I AM ALIVE. I get to be alive! In a human body! I get to feel all this — the air, the ground beneath my feet, the music in my ears, the gratitude in my soul. I shake out my arms. I sing along aloud with my good friend, Mr. 50 Cent, and I don't care who hears me.
One arm up in the air. Hand to God. Thank you for this life. I say it aloud. Thank you for this life.
My heart beats strong: THANK YOU FOR THIS LIFE.
It's going to be a beautiful day.
Tomorrow morning, I know, the negotiation will begin all over again.
But I made a promise. And I will not talk myself out of this promise. I will not talk myself out this gesture of reverence for the life I have been given.
Thank you, heart. Thank you, feet. Thank you, lungs. Thank you, arms. Thank you, Nelly and Jay Z and Kanye. Thank you, LIFE.
Let your hearts beat strong, Dear Ones. Let's go. Don't talk yourself out of it.
ONWARD,
LG
via Elizabeth Gilbert’s Facebook Wall
Happy news from my shop in Frenchtown, NJ, Dear Ones!
Timeline Photos
SALE EXTENDED!!!
Dear Button-Lovers!
We got so excited by our Thanksgiving weekend sale that we decided to extend it ALL THE WAY TILL CHRISTMAS!
30% everything…even our online shop! (Even Liz's signed books are 30% off…a great gift for the readers in your lives!)
We hope you and your families all have happy holidays, and thank you for being so loyal to us!
All our love,
The Buttons
It's a colorful and happy day in Frenchtown!
via Elizabeth Gilbert’s Facebook Wall
Dear Ones –
Today's wisdom comes to us care of the 19th century philosopher William James. (Who was the BROTHER OF THE MORE FAMOUS HENRY! See how I did that, attentive followers of this page, and book lovers???)
Anyhow…Mr. James had some very good things to say about how to form healthy habits in our lives.
First of all, he observed that most creatures are nothing but bundles of habits. Whether you are a wild fox or a domesticated human, after a certain amount of time, your days always tend to look the same. And since our characters seem to be a reflection of our habits (habits of thinking, habits of acting) it's probably a good idea to try to cultivate beneficial habits and eliminate destructive ones.
William James said that one of the problems with humans is that we set our habits at a young age, and then never consider altering them as we get older. But we CAN change our habits, he claimed.
He suggested an exercise, which I think is lovely and simple — and which I've been trying lately, because it really seems to work.
Here goes:
Mr. James said that every day, we should make a conscious effort to add one good or beneficial act, and to remove one harmful or lazy act.
That's it: Add one good thing and subtract one bad thing, every day.
Just one!
Add one kind word, and restrain yourself from saying one nasty thing about somebody.
Add one act of generosity, and withhold one act of selfishness.
Add one piece of fruit; remove one donut.
Add one glass of water; remove one cigarette.
Add one session of meditation; remove one half hour of reality television.
Add one trip to the gym; remove one trip to the mall.
Add one loving thought about yourself; remove one moment of self-doubt.
Add one brave gesture; remove one cowardly gesture.
Add one thing; remove one thing.
JUST ONE THING!
In this simple manner, day by day, you slowly recreate your habits…and in so doing, you steadfastly transform your life.
And guess what, my loves? THE SHIT WORKS. (That's a quote from me, not William James. But I think he would approve.)
So make a habit of it, Dear Ones! Because what we do matters.
Have a wonderful day!
ONWARD,
LG
via Elizabeth Gilbert’s Facebook Wall
